"I am not my hair." -India.Arie
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Day 2 of my journey... |
Seven years ago today I did
the “big chop” and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It was the day after taking the LSAT and I
figured, after that experience, I could get through anything. So I washed my hair
and let my friend cut off the rest of the relaxed ends, which I had been
growing out since April. Afterwards I cried…not so much for my hair, but at the
anxiety of facing the world looking different. The next day I put on my
biggest, cutest earrings and went out with full armor over my self-confidence,
which I knew would be tested severely… As an undergraduate at GSU in Northeast,
Louisiana, having natural hair was rare…I think I only ever saw two people on
campus with natural hair before I made the decision to be natural.
Before that day, I had never
seen my hair in its natural state; I was 19. My hair is the thickest and
coarsest I had ever seen and apparently my mom thought so too, as I had been
having my hair relaxed since about 3 or 4. I mean there were literally times
when a relaxer did not take on my hair and I had to re-relax it the next day
(horrible, I know). I went through my whole life HATING my hair, but when I saw
Lauryn Hill’s hair in the video for “Killing Me Softly” I knew I wanted my hair
like that one day. I’ve always been quite rebellious and at some point I knew I
was tired of looking like everyone else, especially when my hair was not happy…
In these 7 years, me and my
hair (newly named Nina) have been through it! I have periods where we are
friends and times where we just don’t get along at all! Sometimes I want to
play with her and try different styles and at other times I don’t even want to see
or touch her. I have colored it, cut it (sometimes intentionally and sometimes
because people are scissor happy), braided it, and almost everything in
between. Nina has personality and, when I’m not lazy, I like to flaunt her.

I can honestly say that it
was not until I was natural that I fell in love with my hair; through good and
bad days it was mine and I rocked it! As
a law student, I never felt pressure to conform by straightening my hair for
interviews because my hair was a part of who I was and I figured they either
wanted all of me or none of me…always rebellious. Even in court as an attorney, I would rock my
‘fro or twist styles proudly. Funny thing I notice is that when people see
someone with natural hair they automatically think they have a strong
personality – one stereotype I’m ok with!

This year I’ve decided to
treat Nina better. Funny how all these years later I never really put much
thought into how healthy my hair was.
This time in Costa Rica has really given me necessary time to think about
so much, including my hair. I’ve been researching a lot to figure out why my
hair does certain things and finding natural recipes I can use on my hair; I am
a YouTube junkie now. I’ve also decided to really listen to Nina and do what
she likes. My journey has been a learning experience more than anything, but I
couldn’t imagine my hair relaxed ever again (I’ve literally had nightmares
about it). I’m happy to be nappy/kinky/curly and everything in between!
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