7 Years In…My Natural Hair is STILL a journey!

"I am not my hair." -India.Arie

Day 2 of my journey...



Seven years ago today I did the “big chop” and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  It was the day after taking the LSAT and I figured, after that experience, I could get through anything. So I washed my hair and let my friend cut off the rest of the relaxed ends, which I had been growing out since April. Afterwards I cried…not so much for my hair, but at the anxiety of facing the world looking different. The next day I put on my biggest, cutest earrings and went out with full armor over my self-confidence, which I knew would be tested severely… As an undergraduate at GSU in Northeast, Louisiana, having natural hair was rare…I think I only ever saw two people on campus with natural hair before I made the decision to be natural.

Before that day, I had never seen my hair in its natural state; I was 19. My hair is the thickest and coarsest I had ever seen and apparently my mom thought so too, as I had been having my hair relaxed since about 3 or 4. I mean there were literally times when a relaxer did not take on my hair and I had to re-relax it the next day (horrible, I know). I went through my whole life HATING my hair, but when I saw Lauryn Hill’s hair in the video for “Killing Me Softly” I knew I wanted my hair like that one day. I’ve always been quite rebellious and at some point I knew I was tired of looking like everyone else, especially when my hair was not happy…

 

In these 7 years, me and my hair (newly named Nina) have been through it! I have periods where we are friends and times where we just don’t get along at all! Sometimes I want to play with her and try different styles and at other times I don’t even want to see or touch her. I have colored it, cut it (sometimes intentionally and sometimes because people are scissor happy), braided it, and almost everything in between. Nina has personality and, when I’m not lazy, I like to flaunt her.

I can honestly say that it was not until I was natural that I fell in love with my hair; through good and bad days it was mine and I rocked it!  As a law student, I never felt pressure to conform by straightening my hair for interviews because my hair was a part of who I was and I figured they either wanted all of me or none of me…always rebellious.  Even in court as an attorney, I would rock my ‘fro or twist styles proudly. Funny thing I notice is that when people see someone with natural hair they automatically think they have a strong personality – one stereotype I’m ok with!

 

This year I’ve decided to treat Nina better. Funny how all these years later I never really put much thought into how healthy my hair was.  This time in Costa Rica has really given me necessary time to think about so much, including my hair. I’ve been researching a lot to figure out why my hair does certain things and finding natural recipes I can use on my hair; I am a YouTube junkie now. I’ve also decided to really listen to Nina and do what she likes. My journey has been a learning experience more than anything, but I couldn’t imagine my hair relaxed ever again (I’ve literally had nightmares about it). I’m happy to be nappy/kinky/curly and everything in between!

On Being a Rebel

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

So here I am, 26 years old with no husband and no children. I up and quit my job as a prosecutor, left my house to my roommates, and moved to Costa Rica for at least 5 months (if my mother thought it was longer she would kill me) to volunteer with a nonprofit called Abriendo Mentes. Decided I needed to take a break from my fast paced life to breathe. Graduated college at 20, law school at 23, and have been on the fast track ever since. I’ve been moving through life so fast that things are passing me by and I’m missing some important moments in my life; I spent my 21^st birthday studying for a law school exam and my 25^th preparing for a jury trial. I’ve decided to rebel against what “I’m supposed to do” and I’m content with what I have chosen. I'm walking by faith, loving life, and will persevere through any obstacles.

The funniest thing about telling people what I was planning to do were the pauses in the conversation.  You could almost hear their thoughts when I told them I resigned from my job to volunteer…for free! Some people think I’ve made a great, courageous decision, while others think I’ve lost it. What the latter don’t realize is that if I went too much longer at that pace I would have truly been “muy loca.” Not that opinions matter because this was a decision made by me for me.

What I’ve realized since deciding to travel this path is that a lot of people want to do something crazy and out of the norm yet don’t for whatever reason or excuse they can come up with. All the other volunteers in my program are young WASPs fresh out of college or in grad school. They are trying to find themselves or scared of entering the work force, and indeed they should be because being a “grown up” is for the birds. I’m the only one that looks like me and the only one, without a spouse, that was established and uprooted myself to be here.

All of this has me thinking... Why are people so afraid of things that are different? Why are Blacks not encouraging this type of behavior and exploration from our youth?