7 Years In…My Natural Hair is STILL a journey!

"I am not my hair." -India.Arie

Day 2 of my journey...



Seven years ago today I did the “big chop” and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  It was the day after taking the LSAT and I figured, after that experience, I could get through anything. So I washed my hair and let my friend cut off the rest of the relaxed ends, which I had been growing out since April. Afterwards I cried…not so much for my hair, but at the anxiety of facing the world looking different. The next day I put on my biggest, cutest earrings and went out with full armor over my self-confidence, which I knew would be tested severely… As an undergraduate at GSU in Northeast, Louisiana, having natural hair was rare…I think I only ever saw two people on campus with natural hair before I made the decision to be natural.

Before that day, I had never seen my hair in its natural state; I was 19. My hair is the thickest and coarsest I had ever seen and apparently my mom thought so too, as I had been having my hair relaxed since about 3 or 4. I mean there were literally times when a relaxer did not take on my hair and I had to re-relax it the next day (horrible, I know). I went through my whole life HATING my hair, but when I saw Lauryn Hill’s hair in the video for “Killing Me Softly” I knew I wanted my hair like that one day. I’ve always been quite rebellious and at some point I knew I was tired of looking like everyone else, especially when my hair was not happy…

 

In these 7 years, me and my hair (newly named Nina) have been through it! I have periods where we are friends and times where we just don’t get along at all! Sometimes I want to play with her and try different styles and at other times I don’t even want to see or touch her. I have colored it, cut it (sometimes intentionally and sometimes because people are scissor happy), braided it, and almost everything in between. Nina has personality and, when I’m not lazy, I like to flaunt her.

I can honestly say that it was not until I was natural that I fell in love with my hair; through good and bad days it was mine and I rocked it!  As a law student, I never felt pressure to conform by straightening my hair for interviews because my hair was a part of who I was and I figured they either wanted all of me or none of me…always rebellious.  Even in court as an attorney, I would rock my ‘fro or twist styles proudly. Funny thing I notice is that when people see someone with natural hair they automatically think they have a strong personality – one stereotype I’m ok with!

 

This year I’ve decided to treat Nina better. Funny how all these years later I never really put much thought into how healthy my hair was.  This time in Costa Rica has really given me necessary time to think about so much, including my hair. I’ve been researching a lot to figure out why my hair does certain things and finding natural recipes I can use on my hair; I am a YouTube junkie now. I’ve also decided to really listen to Nina and do what she likes. My journey has been a learning experience more than anything, but I couldn’t imagine my hair relaxed ever again (I’ve literally had nightmares about it). I’m happy to be nappy/kinky/curly and everything in between!

Why is Costa Rica Hating on My Hair???

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again." -William Edward Hickson

Coming to Costa Rica I thought my “pelo natural” would be in heaven because of all this heat and humidity.  Boy was I wrong!  Costa Rica and I have been in a constant fight since I’ve gotten here and I think Costa Rica is winning. Every day poses a new hair challenge, whether my hair decides to shrink and hide, be consistently dirty and dusty or rain after I actually take time to put it in a style. I’ve spent countless hours searching on the Natural Hair group on facebook and looking on Youtube for “ayuda”… and hope! I’ve even put in an emergency shipment with my roommates for some products hoping it will help. SN: Shame on my roommate Neli, who told me not to bring Jessica2 (my wig); we would be best friends right now!

A couple weeks ago I braided my hair in some plaits or “Celie” braids as I call them; yes after Celie on The Color Purple. I left them in for 5 days and just pinned them back into different styles. In the States, I usually do this at night and have a cute braid out the next day, but deciding to be lazy and hoping for definition left them in. When I took them out my hair looked like “basura caliente”! I mean my hair had absolutely NO definition. All of the volunteers thought it was cute, but of course I knew better…

For my next experiment, I did a style with two strand twists and to my surprise it came out cute! However, a style that would have been cute and lasted a week did not hold up so well.  After 3 days it started to look kind of raggedy and I should have retwisted some of them again. Nevertheless I kept it in almost a week, NOT because it was cute, but out of sheer laziness.

My latest trial is to rinse my hair with conditioner, put in a leave-in conditioner, apply coconut oil to my ends and then some curling smoothie to my entire head.  I then put my hair in 3 ponytails to stretch it. While my hair is soft, the attempt was another FAIL at cuteness and ended up in a pulled back afro.

One day Costa Rica will not be a hater…one day while I’m here my hair will be cute …

The "Shriveled/Puffy/Today is Not the Day" Look

Wednesday- When I left DC more than a week ago my newly twisted hair was cute and bouncy and hanging to my shoulders.  I had plans to keep this protective style in for 3 weeks. By the end of Day 1 in Playa Potrero it had a mind of its own. I call it the “shriveled/puffy/today is not the day look.” The length had retracted to my scalp from the combination of heat, sweat, and the surprise rain shower as I walked to the office. The twists were limp and lifeless. And the look that was cute, was not quite there anymore; less “lindo” and more “mal”. How can this style last me at least 3 weeks, when I’m over here looking like buckwheat’s mama??? Natural hair is no joke especially when it’s as thick, coarse, and as kinky as mine.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. To leave it, attempt to style it differently, or give up on it and try a whole new complete style?

Saturday- So I decided to keep the twist in…and a wreck I do look! Part of me says hey “pura vida” because I’m not trying to impress anyone on this journey, but the other hand says I’m looking “muy loca” because these twist are every which way and being the only Black person here, I need to be a better representation. I mean it’s frizzy and will not lay right no matter which style I put it in.  I know some of the volunteers think this is normal for Black girls, but I really feel shamed some days.

Tonight I’m putting my hair in bantu knots and will keep them in until Monday. Hoping this turns out better and looks less frizzy because if not Monday night this hair will be washed, put in some celie braids so the ‘fro can be rocked!

 (awesome sunset, bad hair...my face says it all)

Sunday- My bantu knots didn’t last until Monday, but I took them out and feel “mucho, mucho bueno” about the cute curly ‘fro it turned into. Gonna keep this for a few days then do a twist out which will hopefully make it fuller and cuter. Hair is in need of a good wash and deep conditioning. Thank God I brought a suitcase full of products because I’m surely in need of some TLC for my hair…

(looking and feeling better about myself)